Back in December I went through a phase of getting out of bed before the kids and I was amazed at how smooth the day would go when I got my grogginess dealt with before my children bombarded me with their own little needs. It was great! But, even though I was waking up earlier, I was still struggling to put myself to bed. Leading up to Christmas I burned myself out with too many late nights prepping for the holiday festivities, and so ended my early mornings.
Well, I shouldn’t say ended. I have had a few weeks of successfully rising early in the morning. But it hasn’t been the norm.
As of late, I’ve been in a phase of not being able to get up before the kids. Rosie has been nursing constantly through the night, and even though we are pros at the whole laying down nursing thing, I’m not actually sleeping peacefully during that time.
I should just bite the bullet and start her on solids, as I think that’s the reason our nights are sleepless. The reason I haven’t made the transition, though, is because breast milk poops are so much nicer to change than food poops.
I also may be in denial that my baby is old enough to be eating solid food.
The lack of sleep for the past couple of weeks is taking its toll on this mama, though… so, I guess I’ll get Rosie started on food. Maybe…
Days when I get up before the kids, have some quiet prayer time and am dressed and ready to greet them when they wake up, are just more productive than days when I’m woken up by the kids. For days that start in the latter, I always seem to be two steps behind all day.
Even though I know days run smoother when they start in the former, this doesn’t seem to been enough to get this tired mama out of bed. I have reflected on this, and maybe I’m lying to myself, but I really think the culprit (at this point in time) is exhaustion and not laziness… And a tired mama doesn’t make for a very patient mama, so I’ve been trying to squeeze every last bit of rest out of those morning hours.
Because I have been opting for more sleep to hopefully assist with more patience, this has resulted in the opportunity for morning snuggles! Oh, how sweet it is to snuggle all my babes. I’m so grateful for the grace to have recognized the sweetness that can arise even in a situation that is less than ideal. Joy in everything.
During one morning snuggle-fest, I realized this won’t last for much longer… (yet another cause for tears ). My kids are growing up (duh!) and soon we will have to be more deliberate with our daily routine and schedule to fit in all the things we need to like prayer, homeschooling, keeping on top of the house work… (You know, the stuff that keeps you sane. haha) AND soon they won’t want to crawl into my bed. But, right now I feel like we are in our last few months of blissful childhood playtime and I’m not going to rob that from my littles or rob myself of the simplicity of it all.
Our days often start when Clara can’t cuddle anymore because her tummy is just too hungry, or Marcus takes matters into his own hands and is about to pour milk all over the table. (I’m exaggerating. He actually has a really good pouring hand)
Marcus and Clara are in Kindergarten, but we really only do about 2 days a week of actual school book work. The majority of our day (and week) is devoted to imaginative play, puzzles, Legos, and coming up with questions about all sorts of things — from the seasons to “Do we breathe when we are dead, Mom?” (Marcus)
I’m often able to slip in some prayer time and journaling and sometimes a hot coffee. Lots of the time it cools off before I’ve had a moment to sit and drink it, but some mornings it has been hot and those have been just lovely!
I’ve been wanting to read more this year, and I have been, but I’m not in a stage of life where I can allow myself to get caught up in a book and pour through it at the speed I would like to.
At the beginning of this year I did binge on a few books, but even though books are good, I realized (read something somewhere… can’t remember the source… could have been the BIS Lenten journal) that bingeing on anything is sinful and is detrimental to growing in holiness. So, self-discipline it is!
I’ve been trying to just read at bedtime and actually in bed so that I am also getting myself to bed at a decent hour (remember that problem I mentioned before about struggling to put myself to bed and burning out). 2 birds with one stone! I still allow myself to read during the day, but limiting my day time reading has been really good for me. Oh, mortification!
Something that has made a tremendous difference to the peace of our days has been to include something so simple… quiet time! The inclusion of this 1hr of alone time has been amazing. The kids really do need some alone time so that when the late afternoon rolls around they aren’t pulling each other’s hair out, and I’m not wanting to pull mine out.
And a little update on my word for this year: Focus.
Well, right now I’m trying to focus on the precious stage of life we are currently in and will never get back. I still forget at least every other day and get frustrated at the lack of productivity (Get it through your head, girl! It’s not all about productivity!), but I’m working on it. I’m pulling my littles in for more hugs and have been making an effort to put aside what I’m doing to experience the excitement, joy or sadness of a moment with them. I’m shocked at how much simply saying this word to myself has helped me to hone in on the present moment.
Victories and falls all day long. Hopefully the victories will soon outweigh the falls.
Grace, grace, grace!
Well, there you have it, a post of scattered personal realizations. Farewell for now!